Management Locks Out Tech Writers, Learns Regret

Fed up with "those whiners who always make projects late", management at Cheerful Integration exercised their right to terminate their technical writers "at will employment" and has been filling in for them directly for the last two weeks.

"After years and years of dealing with this annoying group of people, we decided to just get rid of them. New hires have proven just as annoying as the old-timers, so we've opted to use a better class of people - managers," said James Faller, CEO.

Angry tech writers are still picketing the firm, protesting the company's "lockout" and its sudden denial of benefits to workers. "This isn't about a culture clash, it's about greedy vultures who just don't want to pay us," said Maria Ward, one of the pickets. "I hear they're getting theirs, though, she added."

Although none of the managers currently filling the tech writers' positions was willing to comment for the record, their frustration was quite clear.

"Have you ever tried to get a programmer to speak English?"

"They keep telling me I need a pearl. Why do they care so much about jewelery?"

"Customers just don't appreciate how difficult this is."

With projects stalling and a drain of management skills setting in at the company, Cheerful's latest approach combines managerial people with economy, hiring dozens of "management trainees" at lower wages to write the documentation, converting documentation from a despised cost center to a valuable training ground. Faller notes that those who show managerial promise will be offered "proper" management jobs at higher salaries, while the others "can just write that stuff."

Creative Commons License This satirical work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.

Copyright 1999-2003 by Simon St.Laurent.